


letting her in

by wordofwarming



Category: Black Mirror
Genre: F/F, Friends to Lovers, My First Work in This Fandom, Workplace Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-05
Updated: 2017-10-05
Packaged: 2019-01-09 09:40:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12273807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordofwarming/pseuds/wordofwarming
Summary: Karin & Blue couldn't be more different, one a hard detective with no time for bullshit and the other a young optimistic woman with her heart on her sleeve. After a traumatic experience on a case, they needed to find each other the most.





	letting her in

The ramifications of the bee drones murders on England saw extensive loss of life and a month of mourning. Though Karin’s first interactions with Liza Behar were of disbelief, her senseless death in front of the schoolchildren was nothing but pure horror. Karin had been prescribed sleeping medication to cope with losing Simon to the drones, and Blue wasn’t able to cope with witnessing another person die. Then came the task of moving bodies and identifying the clusters of deaths to specific people. Between these events Blue had asked to leave work early one day,never to return. Karin had languished in her absence even more so, as Li deflected blame for the attack on her. All she wanted was an excuse to place her hands on Blue’s shoulders again and squeeze tighter each time, and marvel in her skills.

Instead the looming inquest was drawing closer and she had lost the only person who genuinely cared for her despite her cagey personality. The mornings where Blue had bought her a Coffee because her fruit smoothies were not enough had ended, as did her notes with a smiley face on them stuck to her desk. Karin was being blamed for Li’s decision to hit the button to shut down Granular, even though she was so clued into the plan of Garret. Now at the long bleak corridor of the inquest, without her Blue, Nick deceased she was picking at the outside of her paper cup of weak coffee and wondering if she should call it in completely. Instead, the judges stated they would be breaking for a week to discuss how to handle the case on Li, and she was free to leave. Karin hustled to the underground exit and to divert away from the press and public who had not learned of her knowing the implications of #deathto. Instead she had become the public hate figure as the identity of Garret was hidden until all evidence had been presented. On her way home with angry protesters being unaware of her departing, she felt the pangs of guilt crush her spirit again, her comfort and reasons to continue were absent and her silent crying grew in the car. 

 

At her new apartment that was unmarked she solemnly walked in and put on ambient music and opened a container of crisps. After trying with different methods her realisation that ambient music and tibetan meditation eased her into a sense of calm. Despite the social isolation since the deaths her conflicting desires to be alone and to be very intimate with someone, anyone had been maddening. Blue had left because she was her junior, unaware of the scope of the case since Jo Powers had died. Glancing into a suitcase still resting by her door, she began to search for an extra letter Blue had written her with “WHEN U R READY” scrawled on it. Karin felt herself whisper out “Where are you..” and felt she had the guts to open it. It was written on a piece of blue paper, with white ink elegantly and sparse, but its contents felt important. Karin crawled towards the couch and poured herself some wine while bracing to open it. A series of numbers and directions on how to access a website, with “anyday at 7pm i'll be here” written in cursive. Could it be a way to video chat with Blue? Feeling she had nothing to lose, she used her burner device to enter the sequence of numbers into the log. 

It wasn’t until she had entered them all she realised they were the dates they first met, and when Karin had first started to grab Blue’s shoulder. Shaking as the screen began to flicker and load the video link, Karin wondered if it would really be her, and how could she find the words to talk. Then suddenly and all at once Blue’s face lit up the video, Karin felt a tear go down her face as a sad yet hopeful voice called out “I'm still your shadow”. “Blue, Blue, how..are where are you “ Karin’s voice cracked out. 

Blue let herself just stare at the face of her superior who she had found herself becoming infatuated with. “I left because I was scared, but I’m not far away at all. I’m just downtown here under another name and a silly wig when I'm out. I miss you..”. Karin couldn’t believe it, rather than skipping country already she was merely downtown in a bad district that allows the cover of night to hide secrets. “I’m meant to testify soon..they sent me home because of Li and i didn’t know how to.” “I want to see you..soon” Blue cried out as if she needed the nerve to tell Karin the whole story. “Please...get an auto taxi and come down to this building, we are not questioned there and I want to help you..being your shadow after all”. Karin felt herself be vulnerable in a way that wasn’t related to blame or anger, but genuine care from someday she trusted. Karin nodded and said “I’m on my way, hold tight” and disconnected the call. She felt herself unsure of the future, but she always was, seeing her Blue was the only thing that mattered now.She pressed for an auto driverless taxi, and keyed in the coordinates. Sitting in the Taxi now in her house clothes of track pants oversized sweater and dirty joggers she felt flummoxed, but the relief of Blue’s face and voice calmed her. The radio was beaming out songs about lovers and being close to another person, something missing from Karin’s life since her divorce and entry into the field. She jaunted forward and remembered her caustic reply to Blue in the car after the Powers murder, “What fucking field!!” and felt herself crying once again. There were times when Karin didn’t realise how much Blue was fragile and new to the real force, and had hated herself for being so rude whenever she felt attraction to her. Travelling through the cities streets which were empty for a friday and many businesses and hotspots had shut, too many of their owners had died on the drone attack day. Her autocar chirped to announce she was a few minutes away from Blue, and she clutched her chest and sighed loudly.

The car drove slowly into a garage that connected into a small tunnel and parked itself. As the doors slid open Karin felt herself shaking, and stepped out into the cold tunnel with flickering lights. A figure was walking towards her, but was it Blue? The person's hair was so short almost as a buzzcut and they were wearing a oversized hoodie with raybahn glasses and dirty boots. Then Karin felt a lightning strike in her chest, the smile and smirk of Blue was undeniable. Karin was unable to move but called out “is it you!!” and Blue sped up and firmly grabbed Karin pulling her in and trying to deflect her tears on Karin’s clothing. The two women were alone in the apartments tunnel, firmly holding each other for the first time since the drone day. Karin was attempting to speak and found herself choking on each word as if her throat was on fire. Suddenly she said in her usual sarcastic tone “when did you shave your bloody head blue...jesus!”. Blue giggled into Karin’s shoulder and replied with “I will discuss it more upstairs, lets get out of here im freezing my twat off”. Nervously Blue fumbled to find Karin’s hand as if to prompt Karin to run her fingers over her palm like she did after the stressful events of the month before. Karin Understood and gently ran her fingertips over Blue’s palms and felt herself smiling as both women acknowledged each other outside of a work environment. 

The lift to her apartment felt immense, as a vehicle representing their journey together until now. Karin wanted to feel the joy of hearing Blue speak and rambled out “So did you get an army guy to shave that or was it a home job?” Blue stopped and looked at her and they both laughed again. “I wanted anonymity.. And i felt scared..and i chickened out and did this..and moved here..it was impulsive”. Karin understood, the events of the day and those following were devastating, a new start of any kind was to be desired. The lift clunked and the doors opened into an apartment that resembled something from a dorm room. 

Blue lead Karin out and apologised for the basic conditions of her apartment, but Karin understood right away. Removing her hoodie and showing the clothes Karin loved, displaying her body and its tight muscles. Karin felt herself unable to stop what was coming next..”So when you left were you mad at me? For bringing you on this case, i can hardly blame you and im sorry” she said as she collapsed into the futon. Blue moved close and placed Karin’s hands in her own and intertwined them, and began to cry “I never was mad at you and never will be, that bastard Li made me feel so sick and wretched I chickened out because I believed I was a hindrance to you, as you were made a scapegoat”. 

As she said that Blue looked away and Karin’s eyes gazed over her face as she looked down to the floor, Blue moved herself next to her on her futon bed and wrapped her arms around her waist. Karin was then unable to stop the tears from flowing, in between loudly sobbing and trying to talk she nestled into Blue. Blue ran her fingers along Karin’s face and gently wiped away tears, before daring to do something she had wanted to do since the first night. Blue gently caressed Karin’s face with her lips and kissed her gently on her cheek. Karin looked to Blue with a look of confusion and a feeling of closure, the act of her touching Blue’s shoulders and the looks in the office was a heightened intimacy. This was a feeling of shared passion, and Karin was vulnerable with Blue responding to her emotions. Karin realised where she was, and who she was with, crying and beginning to shiver after their kiss. “How..how did you know Blue?” Blue was coy with her boss so close to her and the object of her desires seemingly at her command. “What, know you were gay? Well I didn’t know then and im not sure now. But you were always finding reasons to hug me, pick me up in the rain, squeeze my shoulders and stand pressing into me”. 

Karin seemed to slip into her old self and quipped “aw you thought that was for you did you? Maybe i just had a better view from where you were” Blue began to laugh quietly and then louder and pressed her whole body against Karin’s and gripped her and felt like she was at home. Karin moved in closer and teased Blue by brushing her hair back and putting her lips near her ear. Blue pressed into Karin’s hands as Karin whispered “I am gay, I hadn't been for a long time until I saw you and you comforted me when I felt most alone”. Blue’s eyes opened widely and stared into Karin’s as they properly understood the power of eachs others abscence, their vulnerability was now shared. Blue reached for the wine and poured each a glass, before slinking back hard into Karin and resting her legs over her lap. Karin’s admission to her former junior shadow, a woman who ignited a feeling of passion and desire. 

Blue began to laugh loudly and ran her hands through Karin’s hair, roughing it up and making it messy, “what are you doing! BLUE!” Blue laughed louder, and slid onto Karin’s lap, straddling her firmly and gazing into her eyes. Karin was surprised and responded to Blue’s forward approach to intimacy. “If..if you don't want to i can go”. Blue held her hands tight and and whispered out “ you know i didn't know i could like..women or anyone until i met you..when I worked tech I was alone because it was comfortable. In the real life, the drone case..i had you. Even when you drove me home that first night, it was the first time anyone had cared that much in a long time. Thank you..” she trailed off as this time her kiss was deliberate and cavalier, and she put her hands on Karin’s face and kissed her slowly until she fell into Karin’s body. Karin responded pinned by her shadow and sucked on Blue’s bottom lip until they were making out. Blue maneuvered Karin’s body until she was laying down on her futon and Blue was spooning her. “How was that for you? was I okay” Karin looked into Blue’s eyes, “I have been so alone and feeling like no one cares about me at all. And here you are Blue, kissing me and making me feel safe. It was perfect..thank you”. Blue looked up and saw Karin’s suitcase. “Taking me on a cruise are you? Thats a lot for one night” Karin felt embarrassed and blushed “well I didn't know where you were..and where I would be going” her voice trailed off. 

Blue understood the pain of distance between them both physically and emotionally, and the tension remained unresolved from zero day. Blue pushed Karin’s hair back gently with her fingers and put her face close to her, and calmly said “I know how to catch this bastard, he isn’t as smart as he thinks he is. I’m afraid if I make the wrong decision on how I do it, it will fail”. Karin’s eyes lit up and she tried to talk but was too perplexed, “He is in Oaxaca, in Mexico. Living in a tiny shed he rents under his deceased brother's name, he's hoping to destroy the evidence and return here in a year” Blue talked very fast, almost as if she was understanding her research for the first time. Karin moved her body so she was over Blue and stuttered out “How!..where did you..find him, Blue are you damn serious?” Blue was realizing the risk this would present, however her guilt over the case was devastating. Karin was simultaneously proud and scared for Blue, the risk of going it alone was immense. As Karin contemplated the impact of Blue’s private investigation she felt a warmth across her body, and Blue gently pushed her body into Karin’s and placed her hands under her shirt. Karin let out a whimper and the progression of their intimacy ran through her head, after Clara died and they hugged and fell asleep next to each other on the drive home. Karin tried to hold in a smile but instead widened her face and let herself experience Blue’s intimacy, and placed her hands on her waist.Karin brought her closer and gently pushed her lips against Blue’s face kissing her deeply. Blue’s eyes closed and she allowed her body to relax into Karin and realized Karin was taking her time to look into her eyes. Blue was feeling a side of vulnerability and also of a woman realizing what she wanted, and that thing was her. Feeling a sense of confidence she opened her legs so Karin fell into the small of her body, and licked Karins face before kissing her hard. Karin was unprepared for her shadows eroticism and let her body fall soft into Blue, a rare experience of submission. Blue smiled and lightly kissed Karin again and put her fingers into Karin’s mouth, and smiled and she bit down.

**Author's Note:**

> (still work in progress)


End file.
